Chuckmas Function

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Well you can probably tell from the title that this one didn’t end so well…..

Husseys Lane


My work function is easily one of the highlights of my work year.  It’s not just about the food or the chance to socialize with people from work.  The thing I love most about my work function is that it’s an excuse to get out of work to go for an awesome ride.

This year was at Olivigna Winery in Warrandyte South.  It’s about 11km from my work & I usually give myself a 10 – 15 minute head start on the rest of the office.  The past 3 years I’ve managed to beat everyone to the Christmas function, but this year I had a challenge ahead of me.  It was over 37 degrees & I was battling into a very stiff & hot head wind.

I was tapping out a decent tempo.  It’s an undulating route from my office down Wantirna Road over & across to Warrandyte Road.  It was hot, but was wearing my new La Velocita Black Sheep kit which is just an amazing summer kit.

You know it’s one of those days when I hit every single light from Wantirna to Ringwood (9 in all) & given the conditions I wasn’t feeling confident to get there first.  You know you’re getting screwed when you’re even getting stopped at every pedestrian crossings you pass.  The last section was all downhill and I kept my hopes up but with 2km to the winery I was passed.  I ended up being the third one to get there.

The function went as expected & my belly was twice the size it was when I entered.  The day had heated up & when it was time to leave it was almost 39 degrees outside & it was a real dry heat.  I love riding in the heat & probably was a bit too arrogant about my fitness in these types of conditions considering this was my first extreme weather ride of the season.

I took the long route through Warrandyte & at the last second decided to have a crack at a KOM which I knew was around a 10% average for 700 metres.  Given the heat I knew this was an unwise move.  I turned off & was flying up the first really steep pinch.  The road flattened out somewhat and I was cruising on 27kmph.  All I needed to nail the KOM was 20kmph & easily had it in the bag.

The best laid plans of mice and men……

The last 100 metres went skyward and looked be well close to 15% and completely destroyed me.  The lights went out, and I wanted to throw in the towel but I still had hopes of getting the KOM.  In the heat I just couldn’t move & it’s scary when you know you’ve got it.  All you’ve got to do is keep on riding which isn’t so easy when all you want to do is collapse in a heap.

Yep I took it, but at a massive cost.  I suddenly was acutely aware of how hot it was and was struggling to ride.  I threw up shortly after.   A normal person would have said game over.  There was still several PB’s that I wanted to beat, & just had to go for them.  I did well but really hurt myself doing so.

On Gold Memorial Drive, I stopped off for a drink & had a baby Possum climb my bike & come & say hello.

I was screwed.

The heat was killing me & my guts were on fire.  I had water, but my water bottles had boiled in the heat & the hot tepid water wasn’t all that pleasant.  I started to dream of a frozen Coke & I had hopes that it would rescue me.

No good. It just made my guts feel worse.  At least it cooled me down somewhat.

I managed to get back to my office where I barely made it to the toilet to lose the remainder of my guts.

I was so pig headed about being able to cruise on a 38 degree day.


Here is a link to my Strava Activity here:

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2 thoughts on “Chuckmas Function

    carolynswriting said:
    December 28, 2015 at 9:04 am

    Ha ha ha ha! Sorry but as a colleague, had to laugh 😉 Did you give the baby possum some water? (and at least you made it there & back)

    Brendan Edwards said:
    December 29, 2015 at 10:30 am

    Possum was being looked after. It was at the Cafe that was right next to the Shell opposite that Winery. He was climbing up my bike which was cute 🙂

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